Unfortunately, figuring out what your family taught you is not always easy. However, it doesn’t have to be overly challenging. Overall, it’s the 3Rs—the rules they emphasize, what they expect of you, and the relationships they shape—that allow you to learn lessons from your family. Every family has its own rules. While there may be explicit family norms, more often they are unspoken and operate within the consciousness of everyone in the family (Parrott, 2003). For example, no one may explicitly say, “Never ask anyone for help,” but this rule is expressed and developed implicitly by acquiring subtle and not-so-subtle attitudes. Position in the family is largely determined by factors such as birth order and sibling relationship. Whether we are the oldest or youngest member of the family, male or female, etc., has a huge impact on how we behave. The point is that the roles played in the family, much like unwritten norms, often lead to lifelong patterns of behavior that affect all other relationships (Parrott, 2003). continue…
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